Humour: Too Serious for Amateurs

What makes German humour so funny? In our exclusive interview, Germany’s Laughmeisters Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher reveal their secrets - and tell us why German humour is such a huge international success.

GJD: Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher, you are the two funniest guys ever to come out of Germany. Where do you get your jokes?
Kallenbrecher: On the internet.

GJD: Pardon? You mean you steal them from other people?
Kunz: No, no. What Herr Kallenbrecher means is that we are serious joke collectors. This is an important difference. Most people who collect jokes are amateurs. Only we have the resources to deliver the correct jokes with the right punchlines.

GJD: Let's face facts. Nobody outside Germany thinks that the Germans are funny. You will have to work extra hard to break through these prejudices.
Kunz: I think that this is all a big misunderstanding. Other European countries often do not realize that we Germans know more jokes than they. In fact, the Germans have more humour than the rest of Europe put together!

GJD: Come on, it’s not all laughter and merriment in Germany. Do people laugh in public? No ! Do you do have stand-up comedy acts in your pubs? Definitely not!
Kallenbrecher: Well, historically Germany has had some of the most famous stand-up comedians ever.
Kunz: Sure, in Britain everybody jokes all the time, but that just means they are a nation of humour amateurs. In Germany, we understand that humour is about telling jokes properly and efficiently.

Humour Engineering – Vorsprung durch Slapstick

GJD: Efficiently? How on earth do you measure the 'efficiency of humour'?
Kallenbrecher: In Germany, we measure it in punchlines per minute. In Britain, they measure it in punchlines per fortnight. (laughs loudly)
Kunz: (also laughing) See, for example, if we Germans make a joke, we already start laughing in the middle of the sentence. This saves valuable time, which we can then use for explaining the joke. For example, in this case …

GJD: … Thank you, that won’t be necessary. In your forthcoming book "Humour Engineering", you give your readers insight into how you go about constructing a joke. We all know that the book spans 4 massive volumes, but do you think you could give us a brief summary?
Kallenbrecher: Certainly. The first thing you need is a very good story. All too often, people make jokes in which the story does not really work. In other words you have to get the story right. We call this technology "Story Leveraging", and if you look at this little chart here …

GJD: Please, just tell us what makes a good story.
Kallenbrecher: Now, that is very complicated. I don’t think I can describe that in few words.

GJD: Just try.
Kallenbrecher: Well, often the biggest mistakes are made during the initial joke planning session. You must make sure to include a lot of familiar everyday items, such as a woman. Or a car.
Kunz: Don’t mention the car. Ha ha ha ha !

GJD: I suppose there must be millions of car jokes in Germany.
Kallenbrecher: (after a moment of silence) We use French cars in our jokes.

GJD: Why?
Kallenbrecher: (Impatient) Because they are so funny.

Britain: Plenty of potential for good humour

GJD: (Gives up) …Right. Okay. Let's change topic. I understand that you recently went on a fact-finding trip to the British Isles for your German Joke of the Day radio show.
Kunz: Yes, we had heard so much about British humour that we wanted to find out more about it. But we were very disappointed.

GJD: That's odd. British humour enjoys an international reputation. Just think of Monty Python, Mr. Bean and Austin Powers !
Kunz: Who?
Kallenbrecher: We have not heard of these things.

GJD: (Sighs) So where did you actually go in Britain.
Kallenbrecher: Cambridge.

GJD: Cambridge.

Kallenbrecher. Yes. I personally checked out a major library there, and no, I was not impressed.
Kunz: Then we went to Neasden, Clapham, Middlesborough and the Worker’s Café in Harlesdon.

GJD: It's hardly surprising that you didn't find anything funny.
Kunz: No, no, don’t get us wrong. Britain has plenty of potential. We found many very funny things, such as trains.
Kallenbrecher: The British just don’t understand how to construct a really good joke - yet. British humour is there, but it is at a low level of development.
Kunz: And hey, that’s fine ! We do not mean it as criticism, we just want to help. The British learned so much from us about football, why not about humour too?

GJD: Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher, thank you for the interview and good luck with your show. You may just find that not everybody welcomes you with open arms.
Kunz: Well, in that case, I hope they know what they are doing.
Kallenbrecher: Remember: We have ways to make you laugh !