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Old Stuff
Today, the topic is The Winter Vacation.
By this time of the year, many tourists travel to sunny spots
around the world to have a good Bratwurst and a cold German
beer on the beach. But many have no sense of cultural sensitivity,
do not blend in with the local population and leave the impression
of a "nasty tourist". This is where Herr
Kunz and Herr Kallenbrechers Top 10 Tricks to Blend in while
on Winter Vacation comes in. Their authoritative list
will help you stay popular on vacation - like
the Germans !
 1.
Adopt a Brit
To reserve your deck chair in a beach resort, simply cover
it with a towel. But do not forget your British fellow travellers
! They simply cannot get up that early in the morning. Take
an additional towel, put it on a random deckchair and offer
it to those late Brits.
2. Wipe
Down Your Lunch Table with Your Beach Towel !
This simple gesture will emphasize your sense of hygiene
- and make you popular with local waitstaff. Do the same with
glasses, plates, cutlery. Sit on towel while dining.
3. Do
Not Complain - Explain !
There are places around the world where you simply cannot
expect to get a perfect currywurst sausage, a perfect cold
beer and a perfect cold schnapps the first time. So do not
only complain, teach them a lesson ! Make little drawings
for the kitchen staff, showing how to place the sausage in
the pan. Send the waiter back with your warm beer, again and
again, until he gets it right. Laughingly point at your watch
when he is late with your food, or jokingly slap him with
your beach towel.
4. Wear
a Turban !
In certain parts of the world, covering your head is customary,
and your beach towel comes in handy. Learn how to fold it
into a turban and blend in with the local Arabian or North
Indian or East London population.
5. Show
Cultural Flexibility !
While in a beach resort in North Africa or the Middle East,
local cumstoms require tourists to perform the so-called "dance
of the seven veils" with their beach towel. This is something
German tourists do best, but other nationalities should try
to prove their cultural flexibility.
6. Wipe
Your Sweat !
While on your way to Blackpool, sitting in an air conditioned
British Rail car, discreetly use your beach towel to wipe
your sweat away.
7. Banter
Will Get You Anywhere !
Immigration personnel have a boring day job, so lighten their
mood with bits of friendly banter. "Am I hiding a boiled pig
head in my beach towel, or is it a bomb?" has reduced many
a US immigration official to tears of laughter.
8. Hide
Your Binoculars !
On certain beaches of the world, staring at other people
through your German made precision binoculars is misinterpreted
as a sign of indiscretion. Hide them in your beach towel,
and wear oversized Porsche sunglasses to stay anonymous.
9. Choose
Your Beach Towel Wisely !
The print on your beach towel says a lot about your personality.
You can make up for unavoidable cultural trespasses and misunderstandings
while travelling: Choose a beach towel that emphasizes your
status as a rich foreign tourist ! "Euro Note" motifs are
very popular. So are funny jokes like "Hey, how Many Pig Heads
Does a Moroccan Dirham Buy?"
10. Wash
your Beach Towel on a Regular Basis !
While advanced hygiene cannot always be taken for granted
while on vacation, this will make a small personal contribution.
Click here to take a
look our other favorite lists ... such as Kunz
and Kallenbrecher's Top 10 German mood swings !
Click love to take a
look our other favorite lists ... such as
Kunz and Kallenbrecher's Top 10 Pickup lines !
Click here to take
a look our other favorite lists ... such as
Kunz and Kallenbrecher's Top 5 German recipes !
Click here to take
a look our other favorite lists ... such as
Kunz and Kallenbrecher's Top 10 Things You Want to Find Under
a German Christmas Tree
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