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This will help you get organized! On this page, you will
find Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher's FAVORITE HELPFUL LIST
OF THE WEEK - from the best beers to the greatest heroes,
from the most tasteful recipes to the most important words
in German.
This summer, a lot of people found out new things about Germany.
The Argentinians learned that Germans are quite good at penalty
shoot-outs (something the English already knew for a long
time). The Swedes, Poles, Costa Ricans and Ecuadorians didn't
like the German sense of humour and left. But everyone else
seemed happy, even a guy named Sven, who grinned a lot. So
here are Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrechers Top
9 Hints on How to Say Thank You to the Germans for
the wonderful time everyone had this summer (especially Wayne
Rooney, hahahahaha).
 1.
Send a Thank You-letter to Angela Merkel!
Unfortunately, she doesn't speak any English. Therefore, just
copy the following expression onto a postcard: "Herzlichen
Glückwunsch zu Ihrer tollen Frisur." (German for:
"Warmest congratulations to a fine tournament")
2.
Send another letter to Emperor Franz Beckenbauer!
Unfortunately, he doesn't speak any English. Therefore,
just copy the following words onto a postcard: "Hallo
Herr Kaiser. Können Sie mir eine Versicherung verkaufen?"
meaning "Dear Herr Emperor. We really enjoyed watching
you attend all these football matches".
3.
Send a love letter...
...to your favorite Germans, Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher
(especially if you are Brazilian and female). We will publish
the best ones under "your mustard".
4.
Send money!
It was very expensive to hire so many "German fans"
for all these public parties, so Germany is now bankrupt.
Donations (make cheques payable to Herr Kunz and Herr Kallenbrecher)
will be handed through to worthy causes in Germany, minus
a small transaction fee of not more than 76 percent.
5.
From now on, speak German!
Say "Hi" in German ("Hi"). Say "Good
Day, My Fraulein in German ("Gootn Tugg mine Fraulein").
Say thank you in German (‘Feelin dunck’). Use
German chat-up lines ("Durph ish deer mine sow-coupgh
zaign?"). If in the right, mood, sing along: "Ess
gibbt noor ainin Jurgen Klinsmann!"
6.
Give up your deckchair!
When going to Ibiza or Mallorca this year, just leave the
deckchairs to your new German friends. Or, even better, put
a German flag towel down in the very early morning. The Germans
will very much appreciate that.
7.
Be happy like the Germans!
Stage a Bierfest! Dress like the
Germans do! Tell a German Joke! Yes, you can be happy
and relaxed just like the Germans.
5.
Boycott Italian products for at least two months!
The Italians were not funny. They kicked out the German team
in the semi-finals. Totally unfair. Zizou, you should have
used your head more often!
9.
Boycott Italian products for another two months!
We are not done yet. Do not eat Pizza also. Do not eat Spaghetti.
Do not fall in love with an Italian. Eat Bratwurst and Eiernudeln!
Ach, get our of here, everybody
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